Week 1: Preparation
Intro to Grief Work
Welcome! In this 3-minute video, our mentor and community elder Laurence Cole shares about why we do grief work.
https://youtu.be/VpumBsO2nMg
“So why do we do grief work? Why is why is there this movement for people to come together communally to tend to the personal grief stories that they’re carrying and the wounds and losses that they’ve experienced? How is it that all of a sudden there’s this recognition of the value of learning how to hold each other well as a community as each one does their work of releasing the emotion that has, in some cases, been shamed and shut down and kept locked inside? How does this work towards creating something valuable for the whole community? How is it a form of activism that actually begins to mend a lot of the sense of isolation and loneliness and despair, depression, and even violence and fury that people carry?”
An introduction to our circle:
Each week we will have the opportunity to be in a grief ritual together, which includes opening our circle, giving and receiving sacred witness, working with rotating teachings (below) through guided meditation or group exercises, embodied movement time, group shares, and closing our circle. With each element, we offer an invitation to drop deeper into your body and heart in your own time, as you are ready. You can preview our circle agreements and ritual format here to get a sense of what our time together will look like.
Some reflections to help your prepare for our circle:
Do you have any intentions for yourself as you enter into this grief tending space?
Is it helpful for you to put a name to the parts of your grief that are present? If so, perhaps consider what gates of grief you are working with:
Week 2: Beauty Offerings
Reflections on Creative Expression:
“It is our nature to be free and it is our nature to express that freedom, spontaneously and without hesitation, through song, and dance, and painting, and poetry, and prayer. In the same way that the universe gives birth to uncountable shapes, forms, colors, and beings in a grand panoply of flowing, changing manifestation, we, too, are of the nature to give birth to myriad forms of expression. In the same way that birds sing, and lions roar, and prairie dogs dance, and cicadas chant, and water sculpts rock, and sunsets paint the sky, we, too, are of the nature to sing, and roar, and dance, and chant, and sculpt, and paint. And we are also of the nature to pray– to give thanks and reverence to this Creation that we are an inextricable part of as witnesses and participants.
Since the inception of the human species and until only decades ago, daily life was infused with art making. We crafted our own tools, we sewed our own clothing, we built our own shelters, we cultivated our own food. We sang songs that we made up, songs that were passed down to us, and songs that were given to us by the gods. We danced together matching our steps to the steps of our companions. We built musical instruments out of hides and sinew, twine and bent wood. We painted on walls and on our bodies and our implements. These creative acts enhanced our well-being as individuals, strengthened family bonds, knit communities together, and provided access to states of being that invoked insight and wisdom. We as a species cannot reside in psychological and physical health if we abandon the very activities that maintain well-being.”
– Excerpts from the book by Nina Wise called A Big New Free Happy Unusual Life: Self Expression and Spiritual Practice for Those Who Have Time for Neither.
Making Beauty:
One of our teachers, Martin Prechtel, reminds us that spirit eats beauty – so when we grieve together, we get on our knees to make a feast. We call in help through our beauty offerings of song, poems, altars, flowers, tears, and other creative expressions. Below are some examples of beauty making that have come from our past Lean In circles and teachings on sacred bundles. We invite you explore these and consider how you might make beauty from broken places as we journey these 6 weeks together.
Images:
Window Altar
Sacred Bundle
Nature Altar
Ancestor Altar
Window Altar
Nature Labyrinth
Matchbox Altar
Matchbox Altar
Embroidered Handkerchiefs
Healed Hearts
Prayer Beads
Mosaic
Teaching on Sacred Bundles (Click to Expand)
Week 2 exercises and reflections:
As you hold your tender heart this week, take some time outdoors in nature. Breathe deeply and look around you. On the in breath, take in the day (the breeze, smells, sounds, sensations) and on the out breath notice where in your body you may be holding your grief. Just notice it and take several long breaths in this way. Notice how the breath moves or catches in your body as you continue to notice nature all around you. If items in nature call to you, bring them home and place them near your candle or create an alter. As you look at your items throughout the week, take some breaths and be with your tender heart.
Any objects gathered may be the beginnings of your bundle or whatever form of creative expression you chose to work with over the coming weeks. If the bundle practice does not resonate with you, you may also consider creating a collage, art, poem, music, or anything else to serve as an outward expression of your process over the next weeks. We will have time to share these with the group towards the end of our time together.
Week 3: Cultural Messages
Week 3 exercises and reflections:
Notice this week the messages you give yourself around your feelings and grief journey. If those inner voices arise sending the message that your feelings are not okay, be gentle with yourself. That voice may be a younger part of you that was shamed or not modeled healthy ways of moving through emotions. You may consider trying on a practice this week of repeating the messages that are supportive to hear or visualizing the experience of hearing those from the group. Some teachers even suggest making one or several of these affirmations into a mantra that you repeat 1,000 times per day as a path towards healing our internalized oppression.
Keep spending time in nature. If you'd like to join us in working with a sacred bundle, create an alter at home where you can gather these objects. Again, if the bundle practice does not resonate with you though, you may also consider a collage, art, or something else to serve as an outward expression of your process over the next weeks.
Week 4: Somatic Expression
Week 4 exercises and reflections:
Set aside some time this week to listen to what is stirring in the body and play with any movements or sounds that may want to move through you. Below is a list of songs and recordings that you are welcome to explore and use as part of your practice.
Continue noticing the messages you give yourself around your grief process. Practice being gentle with yourself and working with messages of care and self-compassion.
Keep spending time in nature and consider creating a bundle, collage, or art to share with the group as we move into our final weeks together.
Recordings for somatic practice:
Ritual songs from our local PNW grief community:
Ha Ma by Holly Gossett (12 mins)
Ah Heyo by Laurence Cole (10 mins)
Sacred Grief Wail by Joanna Laws Landis (14 mins)
NOTE: Please do not share these recordings outside of our circle and only use them for personal ceremony work. If you would like to use them in community ceremony space, please reach out to us so we can connect you with the songwriter for permission.
Instrumental:
Drum Beat (14 mins) (If you prefer to work with just a drum)
Keening songs:
Keening demo 1 from interview with Phyllida Anam-Áire (2 mins) (from Project Keening Wake)
Keening demo 2 by Mary McLaughlin form Keen form the Blighted Potatoes (1 min) (from my keening teacher Mary Mclaughlin)
LCaoineadh na dTrí Muire (4 min) (Call and response version of the “Óchón” keening lament)
A Lament Podcast with Peia Luzzi from The Emerald
Weeks 5-6: Reflection and Ritual
Weeks 5-6 exercises and reflections:
This week, consider reviewing any past weekly reflections that perhaps connect to exercises we did in our circle that you resonated with, or maybe connect you to something new.
Start thinking about if there is any personal ritual you might want to do outside of our circle to honor the grief journey you've been on during our time together. There will be time to share with the group, if you choose, in our last circle about any creative projects, alter items, bundle making, or ritual elements you've worked with.
Images beloew FOR SECTION 3
