Counter-Intuitive Advice For Life Purpose

I used to say "I want to find my purpose" with my face all scrunched up and serious.

and

I spent a lot of time thinking really hard about what my purpose might be.

Neither helped me much at all.

Yet I have developed a deep sense of purpose in my life.. and this is a post about how that happened.

The Problem: 

I think we receive a lot of random information about “finding your purpose” or “following your bliss” to live a fulfilling life.

But what does that actually mean? And how can one “do” that?

I think the general idea of "life purpose" is unhelpful or even straight up capitalism trying to sell you on some shiny THING outside of you.

The Solution:

I don't think people actually want "a purpose". 

I think when people say they want "purpose", they actually want the experience of deep meaning in life.

They want the sense that "my life matters, and it is a beautiful thing to be alive."

And that doesn't come from getting a sweet job. 

It comes from living a life that is uniquely yours. 

That can include a meaningful profession, yet it also has to be broader than that, because if your job is the sole source of meaning in your life, it will be an empty life. 

For me, "purpose" is an experience that comes when I follow what I find uniquely meaningful. 

It has slowly grown as I followed my juicy, passionate, intriguing desires. 

Today, my "purpose" can look like coaching an awesome human. 

It can also look like resting when I am tired, or traveling ridiculous distances to study with a meditation teacher I love, or going to Mexico because why the fuck not. 

This absolutely did not come from a lot of thinking and analysis. 

It came from learning to listen to my body and to rest and nourish myself with great connection, food, movement. 

It came from looking out for where passion, curiosity, and desires sparked for me.. and following that one small step at a time. 

The more I followed my deep desires, the more my life became uniquely my own. 

The Challenge: 

Western society tells us we have to find our purpose or there is something wrong... while also handing us a list of 100 "acceptable" things we can do. 

Each of us is handed scripts for who we are supposed to be. 

By our parents. By our TV shows. By our highschools. Etc. 

But those scripts cannot fit all of who you are. 

We have to get outside those narratives if we are going to find actual meaning. 

We have to go beyond the maps we are handed. 

The Way:

A meaningful life doesn't come from analysis, spreadsheets, and meyers-briggs tests. 

Fuck that. 

It comes from the feeling of meaning and aliveness.

And grows. 

The work is much less thinking about what your purpose might be and a lot more looking at the shame and fear that holds you back from leaning into what really, really fucking excites you. 

And also what scares you. 

We are all told by western society- "there is something wrong with you and you need to find some answer, some thing, some PURPOSE outside yourself to be whole."

Really, you are already whole. 

And this post is about a skill (which you can learn) of being deeply attuned to your body, and the energizing possibilities for connection, for nourishment, for growth, for intimacy, playfulness, and incredible sex.. in every moment. 

And then having the courage to act, even if you are afraid. 

It's about living a juicy life and taking the risks that are a part of that journey. 

Purpose is a byproduct of that journey. 

Tangibly, this could mean anything. 

Do you long for more fulfilling connection? 

Do you want more excitement in your life? 

It's up to you to find the adventures, the teachers, the people who will help make those things happen. 

Speaking for myself- As I have followed these sparks of excitement, they have naturally led to realizations about who I am, and what I love to be in this world. My profession and lifestyle has naturally followed. 

This kind of attunement has been a massive healing of fear and of shame. 

So my invitation to you- 

Would it be okay with you if this all got easier? 

Begin to notice the little pulls in your life. The one that drags you to take a vacation alone for the first time, or to go to the yukon, or to invest in a dog sledding outfit. 

Or, more simply, to get more rest, or learn from a great teacher. 

Decide on one thing, RIGHT NOW, that you will do in the next three months that is exciting, and outside of your comfort zone. That's the sweet spot. 

Stop trying to figure out your life. 

Put yourself in the way of life.

You don't "need" a purpose. 

YOU are the purpose.